For those of you who don't know me...My birthday is normally celebrated for the entire month of October. Just in case there was any doubt in your minds, the first party, that in my mind was all about me, happened on Thursday. In England, they have fancy dress parties. So while I was laying out my little black dress and red high heels, someone informed me that "fancy dress" meant costume. So all of my awesome girlfriends and I dressed up as flappers..complete with embellished headbands and sequin mini skirts. Since my grandmother reads this blog, I have to leave out some details of the night. Just in case this story sounds like it has some holes in it.
So pre-gaming and getting dressed was quite fun actually. A few of my friends were already a little tipsy by the time we left Allison's to head to the next stop on our tour of awesome (I promise the tipsy part is relevant to the story) I will be leaving names out of this story...because everyone loves a little anonymity. Skip ahead, we arrive at Digby, stop 2 on the journey, and since I'm really good at pretending to be drunk, I fit right in! We sang, we danced, we ate Chili flavored Crispy Coated Nuts. It was magical. After this we decided to try and catch a bus to the club. As we were walking down the sidewalk, friend A toppled over. Legs flying. I felt bad for her, and helped her up, but I have to admit it was pretty funny. I saw it in slow motion actually, but there was nothing I could do about it. So we helped her up and got on the bus were we met a group of smurfs who wouldn't stop singing. So I put them to work and they named me Smurfette and sang Happy Birthday to me (Yes, I did keep telling people it was my birthday when it wasn't). They were very exuberant about it and people kept talking about how their hats looked like condoms...that didn't really stop them though.
We get off of the bus and make our way to the club...and down goes friend B. This time instead of legs flailing, this friend hit the ground and rolled a little. I was being a terrible mom that night, I should have been watching more closely, I felt really bad because friend B fell in front of a HUGE line of people, but it was still kind of funny. I would expect them to laugh at me if I was the one who fell. We finally get into the club, we sing, we dance (again) and then we find the boys. Or rather, friend C found boys for us. Most of us weren't really feeling these new boys, (Friend B) included...but friend D took a liking to one of them...and that's where that portion of the story will end.
We went outside so friend B could "smoke a fag" (which happens to be one of their favorite sayings) and when we went back inside found some men dressed as Chippendale's dancers. They insisted we rub body oil all over their finely toned bodies, however, being the loving girlfriend that I am, declined. Friend A on the other hand, took one for the team and did it. Then they got a little friendlier. One kissed friend A and the the other asked me if I wanted to "get with ol' David tonight" (yes, he was using an English accent and speaking of himself in the third person.) Again, I vehemently declined and told him I had a man friend but he could give me a birthday kiss on the cheek...so he did...and then asked again if I wanted to Get with ol' David...to which I responded that I, still, did not want to get with him.
After these men we had just about had it with the club scene and were heading to a local bar. For some reason we ended up sitting outside with some Englishmen dressed as Frenchmen who kept talking about my chest as if I wasn't there...and couldn't understand why I high fived one of them in the face. After that we really were trying to leave when we saw out friend...I think I'm on E? So friend E stumbles by all alone. and I do mean stumbles. (this is the portion where grandma may want to stop reading, because this story is too great not to tell) So Friend B is like that's him! and no one believes her, so she goes after him as he is throwing up all over the sidewalk. While she is tending to him, I am making conversation with the bouncer because...what else is a sober girl dressed as a flapper going to do while standing in the rain waiting for her friend. So after a while of "F*** off's" and "I'm fines" from our extremely inebriated friend, we convince him to come with us so we can get him into a cab and into bed. After some struggles, and by that I mean a friend under each of his arms and me hanging on behind him, we get him to the cab, and then argue with cab drivers because no one wants to let him in the cab...douches. So our friends are trying to decide where to go, and who to take Friend E screams "Tory get in the fucking cab!"...Sarah (who he was talking to), responds..."I'm not Tory..." to with E responds "Doesn't matter!!" So friend A, B, and I get him into a cab finally and are joined by some random drunk man child in a Hello Kitty onesie. A had to hold the back of E's shirt in the cab because he was semi unconscious...and about to hit his head on the dashboard a few times. We finally make it to the student village and A and B sit with E while he lays in the parking lot for a minute. I walked our drunk Hello Kitty friend to the front of his house because he had no idea where he was. After telling me I should go party in his room because it's wild there, I found my friends and life was golden almost.
We finally got friend E to his room with only getting puked on a little. So I guess I should count my blessings. B stayed with him for a while and A and I walked home...only to meet another drunk man on the street who wanted to make friends with us! and who's drunk hand mysteriously landed on my chest. His friends peeled him off of us, we made it home; and night 1 of the birthday festivities has finished!
Unfortunately, the birthday festivities are on hold. There is some kind of protest in town today so we kind of can't go into town. I'm thinking pizza and movies...all day. Okay, more later. Love you all!
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